5 Ways to Master Rejection
- Adam White
- Jun 28, 2017
- 8 min read
It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about relationships, whether we are a business owner, whether we are trying to solicit for new customers and new business, it doesn’t matter whether we are involved in corporate America and trying to work our way of the corporate ladder, at some point in our lives we are all going to face this one word, and it’s called Rejection.
We are going to be rejected, our ideas will be rejected, and people won’t accept our thoughts. They won’t accept our dreams or even our talent and abilities. This word is powerful because it stops a lot of people in their tracks. It stops people from making progress or the willingness to try, or the willingness to dream, or the willingness to do something great in life. They are afraid of being rejected.
I want this to serve you well because we are going to talk about 5 Ways to Master Rejection.
Let’s get started…
Let the word “NO” empower you.
When people tell you no, let it empower you. In order for no to empower you, you have to have your psychology set up right. You must have your mentality focused on positive results. You can’t let their no be something that stops you. When people say no I don’t want your service, or no I don’t want to go to lunch with you, no I don’t want to have a cup of coffee with you, or no I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, we have to learn how to let that empower us.
How do we let it empower us? We have to start right. We have to start with the right psychology and understand that what is within us, our value, our purpose and everything about us, has value and meaning. We can’t let that one no, or many no’s stop us achieving our goals and our purpose.
As a speaker, training consultant, and adviser, often I am looking for new business and I am looking to talk to new clients. Every time is not always a yes and many times it will be no. What’s surprising is people see your yes’s, they see when you have success, they see when things are going right, but they don’t see all of the no’s you have to go through in order to get to that one yes.
The word no will build your character and it will develop you. Allow the word no to empower you and not make you feel weak, or to shrink back. Don’t let the word no make you run away from the challenge or say I’m not going to give it my best shot simply because someone has said no.
No is an opportunity for you to re-empower yourself. It’s an opportunity you to dig deeper and try a little bit harder. So the first lesson in how to master rejection is to learn how to let no empower you. Let it strengthen you. When someone is saying no, it is just an opportunity for you to get stronger, to improve yourself, and to get better in some way so that your no’s can be turned into yes’s.
Let’s move on to number two…
Take Action. (Turn I should into I must)
Action is what will keep us moving forward. I love to say this in a way that Tony Robbins has said it, “Turn your, I should, into I must.” It’s not that I should make the phone call, I MUST make the phone call.
The phone call that you are afraid to make, for that new customers, for that new business, for that new relationship, is the phone call that you MUST make.
The email that you are afraid to send is the email that you MUST send. That conversation that you have been holding back and haven’t been able to have, you MUST have that conversation. In order to be able to deal with rejection, you have to turn, I should into I must. It’s not I should do this, I must do this. You have to burn your boats, don’t leave yourself any other options. I can, I will, I must. Do you see the difference in attitude? This will build your energy and your momentum when you must. Your should’s will stay on the shelf, your should’s will never allow you to accomplish the goal you have set for yourself, because you are always saying what you should do. It’s not what you should do, I must do this. There is no other way. I will not leave myself any other options. It has to get done.
So the second way to master rejection when it comes in your path and comes into your life, is to learn how to turn I should into I MUST, and you have to take massive action. Don’t think about the plan, don’t think about the steps, start taking action. It’s ok to fail, it’s ok if your action is sometimes the wrong action, and you still must keep moving forward. You have to be able to turn your should into your MUST.
Here is number three…
Confront Fear
You can be afraid of your fears. Fear stops so many of us in our tracks. It stops us from making progress. It stops us from doing the things we need to do. In fact, even before we get to the rejection, it’s the fear that will drive us to say I’m not going to try because I don’t want to be rejected. I’m not going to put forth the effort because I don’t want to be rejected. I want to be accepted in everything that I do. I want my work, my talent, and my voice to have value. I want to be accepted. But in order for you to master rejection, you have to confront that fear. You have to approach towards fear, you can’t shrink back. You can’t avoid situations, you can’t avoid the opportunity to make a decision or do something different.
You have to be able to confront your fears in order to master rejection. Don’t run from fear. Don’t run from the rejection because within each rejection is an opportunity to learn something new. It’s an opportunity to grow, it’s an opportunity to achieve something that you have never achieved before.
Fear is just a “mental construct.” It is something that we construct and create in our minds. If I ask you to bring fear to me and you were sitting here with me, and I asked you to place fear in my hand, you couldn’t do it… Do you know why? Fear doesn’t exist. It’s not a real thing, it’s something we conjure up in our mind and much of it is things that will never happen.
Let me give you number four…
Rejection is not about you, it’s about them.
Often times we run into rejection and hear that no, and we take it personal. We say to ourselves, they don’t like me, or I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, and that is why I was rejected. When often times it is that person. Sometimes people are intimidated. They are intimidated by your success, they are intimidated that you are making this move so when they see you trying to do something they will reject it.
It’s in our nature of fight or flight. We are either going to fight or we are going to run away from something. When we try to introduce something to someone, their default action is to reject. As a speaker, when I step into some rooms and speak to some audiences, not every audience is open at first. They are closed up and they may want to reject what I might say, but by the time I am done and the flood gates of wisdom have opened, they are receptive and say they were so glad they listened to what I had to say. You have impacted my life, you have made a difference.
So I want to challenge you that in order to master rejection, you must try on this concept, which is rejection is not about you. Don’t take rejection personal. When someone doesn’t like you or they say no, keep it moving. Pass on to the next customer, pass on to the next relationship. Don’t settle for leftovers. Don’t think because you are rejected that you have to keep going back to the same person and dealing with the same hurt and disappointment.
There are millions and millions of people on this planet. You don’t have to accept rejection. You are valuable and you are important. So if someone is rejecting you, you can move on and find that new love, find that new relationship, find that new job opportunity, and find that new business opportunity. Don’t stop and don’t let rejection stop you in your tracks. Embrace this concept. Rejection is not about you, it’s about them.
Here is number five….
Repetition Overcomes Rejection
When you are trying to do something and someone rejects you, most people would say, I quit. I’m not going to try anymore. But if you just keep doing the same thing, if you keep going after your dream, if you keep pressing forward, if you keep going past the no’s, if you keep repeating the same process, if you keep sending out your email template, you keep speaking the same words, you keep a positive attitude, you keep creating affirmations, you keep working on yourself, and working on development, you are creating, repetition. That repetition and that consistency is what will produce results. Repetition will give you the ability to overcome rejection. Don’t stop doing what you do every day.
What are your rituals? What are your daily habits? What is it that you set yourself up to do every single day that doesn’t allow you to quit?
If you want to master rejection, work on repetition. Be repetitive and be consistent. Make sure you are doing the same thing everyday so that soon you will turn those no’s into yes’s. You can turn rejection into an opportunity to learn and an opportunity to grow and do great things.
I want to inspire you today with these five principles for mastering rejection.
Let no empower you.
Take Action (turn I should into I must)
Confront Fear
Rejection is not about You, it’s about them (don’t take it personal)
Repetition overcomes Rejection
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Adam White is one of the most thought provoking speakers and leadership experts that you will ever experience. Entrepreneur and Author of the bestselling book, “A Leader Others Will Follow: The Power of Influence, Adam speaks to organizations across the country inspiring them to be their very best both personally and professionally. He speaks in the areas of Leadership, Psychology, Human Behavior, Motivation, and Professional Development
At one point in his life, Adam lost everything he had and was forced to move into his parent’s basement. The basement experience was a turning point in his life and in 2 short years he turned his life around, buying a Subway Franchise and more than 14 investment properties. Adam quickly became an inspiration and mentor to many others and leaders in particular. 10 years of research and experience became things that he has used to add value to the lives of others. Adam’s life purpose and mission is to help others become great leaders, great influencers and leave their impact on this world by sharing their voice.
Michigan SGMP named Adam “the best speaker they had ever heard.”
Fox Rothschild Attorneys at Law said “Adam’s message should be shared with government leaders and the world.”
To learn more about his speaking, seminars, books, and online courses, visit him at www.adamwhitespeaks.com.