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5 Ways to Master Rejection



It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about relationships, whether we are a business owner, whether we are trying to solicit for new customers and new business, it doesn’t matter whether we are involved in corporate America and trying to work our way of the corporate ladder, at some point in our lives we are all going to face this one word, and it’s called Rejection.

We are going to be rejected, our ideas will be rejected, and people won’t accept our thoughts. They won’t accept our dreams or even our talent and abilities. This word is powerful because it stops a lot of people in their tracks. It stops people from making progress or the willingness to try, or the willingness to dream, or the willingness to do something great in life. They are afraid of being rejected.

I want this to serve you well because we are going to talk about 5 Ways to Master Rejection.

Let’s get started…

Let the word “NO” empower you.

When people tell you no, let it empower you. In order for no to empower you, you have to have your psychology set up right. You must have your mentality focused on positive results. You can’t let their no be something that stops you. When people say no I don’t want your service, or no I don’t want to go to lunch with you, no I don’t want to have a cup of coffee with you, or no I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, we have to learn how to let that empower us.

How do we let it empower us? We have to start right. We have to start with the right psychology and understand that what is within us, our value, our purpose and everything about us, has value and meaning. We can’t let that one no, or many no’s stop us achieving our goals and our purpose.

As a speaker, training consultant, and adviser, often I am looking for new business and I am looking to talk to new clients. Every time is not always a yes and many times it will be no. What’s surprising is people see your yes’s, they see when you have success, they see when things are going right, but they don’t see all of the no’s you have to go through in order to get to that one yes.

The word no will build your character and it will develop you. Allow the word no to empower you and not make you feel weak, or to shrink back. Don’t let the word no make you run away from the challenge or say I’m not going to give it my best shot simply because someone has said no.

No is an opportunity for you to re-empower yourself. It’s an opportunity you to dig deeper and try a little bit harder. So the first lesson in how to master rejection is to learn how to let no empower you. Let it strengthen you. When someone is saying no, it is just an opportunity for you to get stronger, to improve yourself, and to get better in some way so that your no’s can be turned into yes’s.

Let’s move on to number two…

Take Action. (Turn I should into I must)

Action is what will keep us moving forward. I love to say this in a way that Tony Robbins has said it, “Turn your, I should, into I must.” It’s not that I should make the phone call, I MUST make the phone call.

The phone call that you are afraid to make, for that new customers, for that new business, for that new relationship, is the phone call that you MUST make.

The email that you are afraid to send is the email that you MUST send. That conversation that you have been holding back and haven’t been able to have, you MUST have that conversation. In order to be able to deal with rejection, you have to turn, I should into I must. It’s not I should do this, I must do this. You have to burn your boats, don’t leave yourself any other options. I can, I will, I must. Do you see the difference in attitude? This will build your energy and your momentum when you must. Your should’s will stay on the shelf, your should’s will never allow you to accomplish the goal you have set for yourself, because you are always saying what you should do. It’s not what you should do, I must do this. There is no other way. I will not leave myself any other options. It has to get done.

So the second way to master rejection when it comes in your path and comes into your life, is to learn how to turn I should into I MUST, and you have to take massive action. Don’t think about the plan, don’t think about the steps, start taking action. It’s ok to fail, it’s ok if your action is sometimes the wrong action, and you still must keep moving forward. You have to be able to turn your should into your MUST.

Here is number three…

Confront Fear

You can be afraid of your fears. Fear stops so many of us in our tracks. It stops us from making progress. It stops us from doing the things we need to do. In fact, even before we get to the rejection, it’s the fear that will drive us to say I’m not going to try because I don’t want to be rejected. I’m not going to put forth the effort because I don’t want to be rejected. I want to be accepted in everything that I do. I want my work, my talent, and my voice to have value. I want to be accepted. But in order for you to master rejection, you have to confront that fear. You have to approach towards fear, you can’t shrink back. You can’t avoid situations, you can’t avoid the opportunity to make a decision or do something different.

You have to be able to confront your fears in order to master rejection. Don’t run from fear. Don’t run from the rejection because within each rejection is an opportunity to learn something new. It’s an opportunity to grow, it’s an opportunity to achieve something that you have never achieved before.

Fear is just a “mental construct.” It is something that we construct and create in our minds. If I ask you to bring fear to me and you were sitting here with me, and I asked you to place fear in my hand, you couldn’t do it… Do you know why? Fear doesn’t exist. It’s not a real thing, it’s something we conjure up in our mind and much of it is things that will never happen.

Let me give you number four…

Rejection is not about you, it’s about them.

Often times we run into rejection and hear that no, and we take it personal. We say to ourselves, they don’t like me, or I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, and that is why I was rejected. When often times it is that person. Sometimes people are intimidated. They are intimidated by your success, they are intimidated that you are making this move so when they see you trying to do something they will reject it.

It’s in our nature of fight or flight. We are either going to fight or we are going to run away from something. When we try to introduce something to someone, their default action is to reject. As a spea